The weight of the world is so incredibly heavy right now. At any given time, I will scroll through my Instagram feed and be confronted with the atrocities in Gaza and Israel, the experiences of our friends’ journey with childhood cancer, the continued suffering of our planet, people sharing their fears about the cost of living ever increasing, the pain of divorce and so on. Turn on the news and you will feel like you should just give up.

I have felt this type of overwhelm before. The unexpected death of my cousin/best friend when I was eighteen introduced me to the idea that the rug can be pulled out from under us at any time. We are not immortal. The devastating death of my baby in 2016, (a year that was FILLED with loss and disappointment all on its own) taught me that HOW we live is a choice. I suffered pretty severe depression after both of these incidences and while I’m by no means a shining example of a highly functioning, well-adjusted person, I have learned a lot about my resilience and the importance of focusing on growing as a human. I have learned that it’s not wrong to still enjoy life after loss and that it in fact honors the dead to willingly pursue lives of purpose, love, joy, and satisfaction.

Now that I am officially “over the hill” and starting to really think about where I am in life and where I want to go, I find myself deep in thought often about what I believe, what I want, and how I want to be.

Phone pics courtesy of my lovely stepsister who traveled many hours to attend my family bday party in the middle of nowhere

Here are 51 aphorisms I (created and try to) follow to keep moving forward and evolving into the human I aspire to be:

Know the news but don’t live for the news.
Read books- learn about other cultures, experiences, and ways of life different from your own.
Get involved in your local community.
When in a disagreement, consider what or why the other person is acting a certain way.
If you’re going to be on social media, follow accounts/people who inspire you.
Give yourself a break.
Apologize when you’re wrong and try to do better.
Listen to others instead of always doing the talking.
Go for walks in nature.
Tell your kids that you love them as often as you can.
Pursue your passions.
Work hard at these passions if you want to make them your career.
Stop the negative self-talk.
Buy a flattering mirror (you know what I’m talking about).
Reach out to your friends regularly, even if they live far away.
Don’t assume the worst.
Drink and eat what you love.
Know that suffering is not noble.
Wave to the drivers who let you go first.
Seek out and spend time learning/focusing on what inspires you.
Take lots of photos/videos of your kids.
It’s ok to enjoy irreverent shit if it makes you laugh.
Share it with others who will also laugh.
Laugh!
Reach out to people if you feel drawn to them, even if they are total strangers.
Ask your friends and family as much about themselves as you talk about yourself.
Put your phone away at the dinner table.
Opt for music over tv.
If you do watch tv, watch what inspires you.
It’s ok to cry for no reason at all.
If people are not responding in the ways you need them to, tell them what you need.
It’s ok to tell people no.
Heal your inner child.
Invest in the meaningful activities that make you lose track of time.
Create an environment around you that feels calm and inspiring.
Don’t compare yourself to others (especially on social media).
Never make any assumptions about women during their childbearing years.
Try to move every day.
If you’re feeling upset, move even more to get that negative energy out of your body.
Smile and say hello to the people who pass you by.
Be generous, whether with money, your love, or your attention.
Remind yourself that you can make change your life any moment you decide to do so.
Identify your values and use them as a guide for how you live your life.
Shame runs deep and you should do whatever you can to eliminate it from your life.
Even if you’re not religious, understand the basic principles of the most common ones so you have a better understanding of how the world operates.
If they’re the right choices for you (and you’re not a psychopath), you do not need to justify them.
It’s not arrogant to celebrate your successes and good fortunes.
It’s ok to talk about money.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with trying to do too much, decide to do less.
Take your family and friends’ advice with a grain of salt when it comes to personal or business matters.
There is no “real world” waiting to welcome you. The world is what you decide it is (caveat- this comes from a person who recognizes her privilege. I mean more that the way we decide to interrupt everything is up to us).